Featured at NOMA Gallery and The Brick Gallery, Ocala, Florida.

Fido here. Let me explain this painting and why I'm not in it. You see, the Ancient Greeks believed that Sirius could affect dogs adversely, making them behave abnormally during intensely hot weather, the so-called “dog days of summer.” That’s what Wikipedia says anyway. I can relate. I get a little whack-a-doodle when it’s hot and humid. Also I share my house with four felonious cats: Snowball, Tiger, Pounce, and the aptly named Murder Weapon (you should see her claws!) Mom and Dad love these fetid creatures, but there’s no accounting for taste. The cats steal my toys, sleep in my bed, lay in my water bowl, and eat my treats. Murder Weapon is the worst! She raises a paw and swipes at my nose when she rides past on the Rumba vacuum. Mom thinks she's hilarious and posts videos of her on TikTok. Meanwhile, I’m often nursing a sore nose.

I finally reached the end of my rope and began plotting my revenge on the cats. On a recent muggy summer day they were curled up on rocks in the yard next to the outdoor water faucet. They were asleep, or high on catnip…whatever. Let’s just say they were lethargic and not paying attention. So I aimed my behind at them and began to dig. And dig. And dig. Soon they were nearly up to their necks in topsoil!

In a flash of inspiration that felt like a zap from my invisible fence, I remembered the bags of clumping cat litter in the garage. Twenty minutes later those rotten cats were covered in a layer of clumping litter, which I sealed with water from the garden hose. A perfectly compacted four-headed cat sculpture! Mount Catmore! And no matter how much they clawed and wiggled, the y couldn’t escape the hard shell of the compacted litter. They were stuck! And I was free.

Unfortunately, my human parents didn't share my enthusiasm. Between the dug-up landscaping, the shrieking cats, and the muddy footprints I made when I ran through the house, I was in deep doo-doo. Mom locked me in my kennel in the laundry room for rest of the afternoon. To add insult to injury Murder Weapon chased my tennis ball past my kennel and made obscene gestures at me with her tail. The other three cats stared down at me over the edge of the dry with evil slitted eyes. Mount Catmore was no more. I was not solely responsible for my so-called bad dog behavior. I was under the influence of Canis Major, Sirius and the Dog Days of Summer. Woof, woof.